Telling Bugs...

So last night we sat Bugs down to tell her/prepair her for the possibility with the baby. We decided in the morning to tell her, I wouldn't say I dreaded it but more so just didn't know how I was going to start.  It wasn't so bad... Were already so blessed to have a big sister that is pretty understanding and grownup about this all. I'm not sure she fully understands but she at least has an idea so if something happens it's not a slap in the face "WHATS GOING ON???". We told her that there was a chance the baby might be sick when he/she is born and we might not be able to bring the baby home right away. That the baby might need some extra help from the doctors.  It did help that she watches the videos each weeks so explaining that the water that we see around the baby isn't there. She did ask what happened to it and so we told her baby's kidneys were having trouble working and the baby drank all the water, which she seemed to understand. We told her we were still praying God will work a miracle but we wanted her to have a heads up.  She is still very excited for the baby which makes me feel good 😀. She also said, without us bringing it up, she wanted to see where the baby was going to be (NICU). She's much like me in that aspect 😊. { When Grandpa was still in the coma and the doctors were telling us what may or may not happen I was already thinking about transplant. The doctor half laughed at me (not litterally but was like yeah good chance with that) and now 6 years later and Bugs was just at their house for a few days 😉.   }  

We also made it clear, which the nurse did too, that she is more than able to be as active and near the baby as she wants. When the baby goes to the other hospital and stuff she can go with and stay at baby's side. 

This is very much the final push for us. All the hospital planning and such. This is going to be a big growing/bonding time for our family.  I'm so happy to have the people I have around us to celebrate in the joys and be there for support.  Thank you for everything thus far and to come! 😘 

First Amnioinfusion

I was pretty nervous/excited going in. Luckily Dad texted me and in his usual self helped lighten the mood/relax my mind.  #lovehim

Holy balls!!! Though we went into the procedure not knowing a whole lot as far as how they were going to do it...but balls I wasn't ready for that.   I've had pain before (been through labor and had multiple ovarian cyst burst on me), I feel like I have a generally decent pain tolerance.... But this for sure did test it!  

First off the lady doing the original ultra look to figure a place to go in was doing some major pushing. Barry laughed after cuz he could tell she was like shoving it in. I understand she was trying to move around baby and such but it hurt.  Then came the actual process... So for those, like we were, whom have never seen/heard of amnioinfusion it is like a reverse amniocentesis. They find a good spot...poke you with some numbing then jab you with this giant needle! (Going to get a picture next time ha) then they hook the tube up and start the solution. So the spot that they went in was right under baby's butt which is like my most sensitive spot.  Like just rolling over it lightly with the ultrasound wand kinda hurts like someone pinching you from inside/out. Then of course the needle moves around from them having to resituate as the solution fills and moved with baby's movements-that's what hurt! It wasn't so bad getting the needle in and when I was situated, it was when they moved and even more when baby moved/cramped up.  There were times all I could do was squeeze my hands close my eyes and remind myself to breath and try not to tense up my stomach too much. Those times I kept repeating (in my head) "I love you baby". I don't know why, just what came to my head and it some how calmed me and made it "bearable". I about had sweat dripping down my forehead by the time we were done.   

Afterwards.... I was feeling okay. Was tired from all the "strain" but otherwise not too bad. My stomach didn't feel like it was going explode or anything like that, that I was kind of expecting. I was able to walk out of the room and down the hall a bit. There was of course a bit more pressure...they did put in 400+ml in, but nothing a little sitting couldn't handle :)   Barry was nice enough to push me in the wheelchair around Mayo while we ate and then through the hospital tour. #myguy ha.  We got to see both the maternity area at Mayo and then the NICU at St Mary's. It was so nice to kind of get an idea of how they do things and what could happen, where I am and where baby is...but it also brought up a TON of questions and planning we have to get started on. Starting from what we want the doctors to do after delivery, am i okay being away from baby, how much help we want, to what are we going to do if baby passes including funeral and such.... It's now all becoming so real.  And though I'm still optimistic about the outcome we still have to plan all this just incase..,

Update With Big News!

So we have big news...! Well big to us/me ha. Big...kinda scary news... Tomorrow (Friday) we are going to Rochester bright and early for an all-day fun fest!! Okay fun fest might be a stretch but still a change in feeling like we're just sitting around waiting. This is the time we have been waiting for plus a little bonus. So to start we needed to make an appointment to go over everything with the nurses and get the tour of the maternity area and all that fun stuff that comes with having a baby. Which even as I’m typing this it grows my anxiety/nervousness. I have no idea what is to come…what they are going to say. Leaves your heart racing. I’m very excited but just fearful of how things are going to happen. Like I wish we had more time to just enjoy being pregnant. Now it just feel like a rush to the finish line. Tomorrow I am 32 weeks. I could go as early as 5 weeks – depending on if they have plans to induce me. I would like to go as long as I can but I also understand the fact they would like to be prepared with all doctors and nurses needed to give our baby the best chances. Guess we’ll find most of that out tomorrow. The biggest news we have for tomorrow is we are doing the amnioinfusion! We are not sure how all of it happens and such, we haven’t have a consultation…that will be tomorrow morning before procedure. So I tried to lookup online a little bit just to get an idea of maybe how they do it…yeah wasn’t much help. The only thing I really found was this: “Amnioinfusion is a procedure in which normal saline or lactated Ringer's solution is infused into the uterine cavity to replace amniotic fluid. It is used to treat problems known to be associated with decreased intra-amniotic volume, including prophylactic treatment of oligohydramnios and treatment of severe variable decelerations during labor.” I am excited to have it done, hopeful that it will relieve some of the pressure on my legs and the cramping in my stomach and make the space a little nicer for the baby. Every time he/she moves around it like suctions in my stomach for a bit. I’m also hoping that it will possibly also help the baby develop his/her lungs a little bit before delivery. I’m feeling nervous about all the new stuff but also at ease with the fact that we’ll be more informed. We’ll find out how they plan to go about delivery and such. This will help also with telling Bugs, break the news to her and help her understand what could happen and what our plans are. I’m getting ready to be able to plan. Go through and do a little shopping planning. We have decided we’ll go out to Target and probably Baby’s R Us to do a registry so that way we don’t need to go out now to rush and buy things but if we are lucky enough to be able to take our bundle home than Moms can run and grab us a few things to get started while were in the hospital. I do need to gather my to go bag. Figure things I would like to bring and make sure they are accessible in case someone else needs to come and pick them up for me. Oh man things are getting real! 

Longest Day...

Today has been a very long day...the main thing keeping me on the positive side is that Baby is still very active.  I have literally been in bed all day. I managed to wrangle myself up to get Bugs ready for school...but that was as much as my legs could handle. They have been numb/pained/tingly all day with no relief. I thought elevating them might help, so I did this while Barry was getting ready for work...no change, almost got worse. So I spend the day laying in bed with Rollie to keep me company. It was the only thing I could do. The pain still lingered but it was the best position for minimal movement to make it worse. When I called into work today I thought my body was telling me I had over done it, I just needed some rest. Guess that wasn't the answer.  I messaged Winona to see if they had any ideas to help relieve the trouble, thinking they would say you just need more rest or a bath or more fluids...I don't know, just something to help.  I got different news though. They ended up calling and wanting me to come in right away. Though this wasn't really possible with Barry working and obviously I can't drive with my legs how they are....I told them we would be to the ER as soon as we could. As I, literally, lay here waiting for him to get home I am weighted down with worry. The one thing helping to calm the fear that they would induce me is that they said to come down there where as if they thought I might need to go to delivery they would have said to go to Mayo...though things could change by the time we get there. 

I think even  more so what is weighting me is telling Bugs. My Mom is going to meet us there to take her to dinner that way if she needs to be there she's close....but do I tell her?  Do I worry her with the though of what might happen this early? I thought this would be easier, I know she'll understand but at the same time I am at a loss for words of how to tell her.      ...God please help me.