Preannouncement Blogs

6/30Father’s Day we found out we are pregnant again!!! EEK! So excited and terrified at the same time. I’m so excited, why wouldn’t you be. The excitement is in like over drive major. Not only do I want to tell everyone but I also am in major planning mode. I want to get everything setup and ready…I know sounds crazy, I’m only like 5 weeks along. I think though since we didn’t get to with Trysten I have all of those residual excitement/planning that it just adds to this time. The other half of me though is honestly terrified. Not of being pregnant but what could happen. I know, I know….not good to think like that…need to be positive. Yay yay well don’t want to hear it, not that easy. There’s not only the fear that the same thing could happen again but also a million other things… such as any of the other major compilations there is to worry about when first pregnant and haven’t had an ultrasound yet and also the now ever knowing first hand that you don’t know what’s going to happen. We could have a wonderful pregnancy, well a healthy pregnancy – I’m already sick as a dog ha, and for some reason things not work out. Now yes I know these are events that we have no control over and no use I fretting over them because we can’t control them…but those fears are still legit and there. I’m trying my best to keep praying and putting all my faith in God that he will bless us with a healthy baby. Going in though I know whatever time we have with this little bundle we will treasure and are excited.
Now this is not being posted now, and will be later. I’m only 5 weeks….and I honestly don’t want to fully spread the word (even to family) till we know for sure how things are – so like 17-20 weeks. And yes I am going to make my doctor set me up for appointments every week during that time ;) I want to make sure that if it does happen again we know right away so we can be prepared and have a chance to do the things I regret not doing with Trysten. --- I honestly miss him more now than I did before…

8/13/15
I’m now 11 weeks and still trying to shake the sickness. Though it sucks, the nausea all the time, I’m ok with it because I know what’s to come and know that baby is still there. It’s just not fair to others…I’m pretty useless. On the other hand we were going to wait to announce till 17-20 weeks…yeah not really going to work. I’m growing a little faster than I did with Bugs and Trysten, waiting that long will be a little hard to hide it. I have told a few people, you know you just get excited and have to tell someone or you’ll explode but not family yet, well other than Mom (Bugs slipped by accident, and GGHei because they won’t be able to come next Saturday). We are getting super excited though about our announcement party (Aug. 2nd). Really hoping it goes well. Bugs is super excited to have people over to play in the pool. I think I’m most nervous to announce… worried that people won’t be excited but more so give us the “really?” look. Though it is what it is, what God had in the works for us. We said we weren’t going to hinder it (b.c.) but we weren’t going to super try. If God blessed us, he blessed us. I’m so excited but at the same time still waiting for that 16/or so week mark just to make sure baby doesn’t have the same condition as Trysten. Yes I know they say it won’t happen again…but lightning can strike the same place more than once. I don’t want it to seem like I sit home in a corner shaking stressing about it but it is a concern that just reminds myself to enjoy every minute we have incase it’s taken away from us again. From that I will say I’m super excited and this weekend
we’ll hopefully take our announcement picture, exciting!

8/25
Today is six months since Trysten passed. Honestly when it first happened I didn’t think I would make it this far. More so, I knew I would make it “through”, imagining 6 months later was something I just couldn’t see clearly. Being this long without him seemed impossible and still feels like it a little bit. Now looking at it it’s even crazier to think in 6 months/less we will be welcoming another little bundle into our arms. I’m beyond excited and yet terrified. I know Trysten’s kidneys were classified as a by chance happening….but as they say, lightning can strike in one spot more than once. Now yes that probably sounds super skeptical and bad thinking but I think of it more as preparation and reminder to slow down to enjoy every minute. A lot of times when you’re pregnant you think it’s a certain thing. You’re going to grow this baby and things are going to be wonderful and you’re guaranteed to come home with a baby…this isn’t so a lot of the time. I knew before I was even pregnant with Bugs that this is not so. There are many people out there who struggle with infertility or experience miscarriage(s). The bad part is those are both very common and worse is that those aren’t the only thing that could happen. I experienced firsthand when I was younger the high of finding out a baby was growing and then to find out shortly later it didn’t make it, more than once. There are so many things that can happen. Reasons we may never know of why are our babies are taken from us. Even going into labor isn’t a for sure thing as too many have found out. I am so excited to be carrying this bundle, but I am also aware to know that I’m just taking one day and moment at a time. I will be able to fully breath when baby is finally out, in my arms and is healthy. Till then I’ll enjoy my time and growing belly.

10/09
Today we find out…find out what our little bundle is going to be. Well that’s the hopes anyways ha. This is so bitter sweet it’s a little hard to even take in whats happening today. This time a year ago (20weeks) we were going in to see what our little Trysten was going to be. Though we know already that’s not the same situation this time, I requested an ultra sound at 18 to check water levels and kidneys, it doesn’t take away the scared and torn feeling. I’m so excited for this little miracle but it makes me miss Trysten at the same time.
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We're excited to announce we are having a girl! Bugs is a little disappointed right now..she was hoping for a boy. I think that just goes more with what happened with Trysten but I know as time gets closer and stuff she will come to be excited for a sister. We'll all be happy with whichever, just prayers for a healthy baby. I'm so excited for her to be a "big sister", to actually get to experience it, she's amazing with babies.